The truth behind The Law of Attraction

Everyone’s heard of the Law of Attraction. Simply put, you visualize what you want. Believe it, and feel it as though you already have it. Stay in a positive state. Then it comes. You don’t know when but it’s coming. But you’re attracting it.

I think the reason why this became such a phenomenon is because it instantly injects hope for anyone who feels hopeless. For anyone who doesn’t think they can. Doesn’t think they can have better or different. Who think it’s too late to live the life they dream of.

The popularity of the Law of Attraction concept / movie / videos / documentaries / is telling of how many people feel this way, a sense of hopelessness — the fast way to depression and living a grayed out life. The Law of Attraction gets you to believe in Santa Claus again.

I was one of them.

I had a clear vision of what happy looked like and since it wasn’t my reality, I didn’t allow myself to be happy. So I was angry, resentful, and jealous of all the people around me who were getting their dreams handed to them. And of course that flipped my magnet and the only thing I attracted was more negativity, sinking deeper and deeper in my own shit until I hit rock bottom.

I don’t believe the Law of Attraction is complete nonsense. I just believe it’s one piece of a bigger puzzle. It’s like the diet part to the diet and exercise needed if you want to change your body. I do believe in energy. I do believe in the power of visualization, beliefs, and using you entire body as an instrument. This means feeling not just thinking. And I believe if you live in a certain state / or “vibration” good does happen. Yes, there is science behind this. But I believe it because I have experienced it in my own life.

But here’s the thing. I don’t think just visualizing something and feeling like it’s already happened, which is almost impossible to do consistantly, will give you the life you’ve always wanted. If that was the case, happy wouldn’t be a thing because we would all be happy.

When you want something so bad, whether it’s your own business, love, a better marriage, whatever it is, and you get so obsessed with wanting it that you won’t allow yourself to be happy unless you obtain it, you go through life in a desparate lower frequency state. This desperation throws you into a Pseudo Self. You start living outside in instead of inside out. Your gifts become dimmed which means you become less potent. You pack less punch in this world. You also become angry and resentful. So your state changes and your energy beomes low. You then start go through life crossing fingers and hoping. The longer this happens, the less you believe. And if you don’t believe, you won’t put any action behind building anything. Now you watch others build their dreams and become a spectator. Sound familiar? Basically, you give up. Then you hear about a fast easy concept that can save you. There’s a chance you can still get what you want! A vine to pull you out of your quicksand. Of course you’re going to jump on that train.

Look. Yes, you should have a vision of what you want your life to look like. I have a very clear vision. But it’s not hanging over my head. It’s in my pocket. Actually, it’s in my phone. And it changes as I change. They are a list of wants and goals but not needs. They do not define me or my worth. My vision acts as a compass. Do I want these things? Fuck yes I want these things. Will I not allow myself to be happy if I don’t obtain them? Nope. Been there, done that. Never again.

And that’s where most people fall.

They don’t obtain the ability to find life in their life. Yes, ability. It’s not just a choice. It may start with a choice. But it’s a practice, a daily one, to produce nectar (joy) from what’s in front of you as you keep building and climbing. This is what keeps you positive and attracting. It’s like pedaling a bike. Once you are no longer able to produce joy with what you have, you are no longer attracting.

This is why gratitude is so powerful. It cuts the cord that’s tied from what you don’t have to you being happy.Here’s how I believe attraction really works

The first thing you need to do is take a step back. You’ve come a long way. You’ve been through a lot. You’re still standing. And you may not be happy but you know more. Widsom is gold. You have more than ever which means you have a clearer picture of what you want. Chances are what you put weight on and what you want today is different then say five years ago.

ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT

In all areas of your life, career, relationships, health. You don’t have to have a crystal clear picture. But without a vision, it’s difficult to create anything. You’ll just be throwing paint at the wall instead of creating a work of art. See this visual often but don’t tie it to your happiness. It’s there. It’s waiting. But it’s doesn’t determine your happiness today.

FULLY ACCEPT WHERE YOU’RE AT IN YOUR LIFE

Who cares what you had or where you were, this is where you’re at now. Nothing else matters. Stop comparing your life to your old life or to everyone else’s life. You had to go through what you had to go through to learn what you had to learn.

CHANGE YOUR STATE

Our feelings are what’s powerful. The feeling in our body and soul. Our gut. Our truth. When we feel good, complete, whole, and live in our Solid Self, good things happen. I know that sounds super simple, but it’s true. And when we feel shitty about ourselves and our lives, we live in lower frequencies and not much good happens.

You change your state by consciously being aware of your thoughts and thought patterns. Our thoughts are one way into changing how we feel. And this is why there are so many videos about changing our thoughts and how we think (and you should watch them. They’re like vitimins. You can’t have too much. You’ll just pee out what you don’t need.) Our faulty thinking creates the negative state / energy that attracts nothing but dead ends and more discouragement. It’s a shitty loop most of us call life. Whatever you feed grows so feed the good in your life. You don’t think there’s any good in your life? That’s just means your joy muscles are very weak. There’s always someone with less than you so start the practice of finding the good in your life.

Or change your state through experiences. Little daily things are big. When I was going through my rebirth — changing my state, I found joy in little things like a good workout, motorcycle rides, meaningful conversations, enjoying different foods, and hanging out with my tribe. These are all things I had in front of me. I didn’t have book deals or my own company. I punched a clock. I was in a job I didn’t like (but later realized it was one of the most important chapters of my life and would position me for bigger things.) The process of finding joy in your life is what creates you to connect to yourself. This is the gold. This connection to self is what makes you a super magnet to attract.

You can’t find joy if you’re constantly in your head. So you have to practice mindfulness / live in the here and now. In everything you do. Meals. Sex. Fitness. Work. Everything. As much as you can. Again, it’s a practice. A daily one.

STOP MAKING IT ABOUT YOU

The most powerfilled state is when you start living a through me life. And you can’t do that if you just keep make it about you, feeling lack. Start living for your purpose, to help others, and to give. Yes, you can still want the Audi R8 and collection of motorcycles like I do. But those are just things and they won’t truly make you happy. “Things” will be the by product of living a purpose filled life.

You have to find meaning in your life. It may change but there always has to be meaning in your life. It’s the greatest traction. What is meaningful to you today? Because meaning leads to fulfillment → happy → attracting state.

1. Know what you want but don’t tie it to your happiness, 2. accept where you’re at in your life, 3. change your state, and 4. stop making it about you by finding meaning and a sense of purpose.

Do this daily as a practice and you will attract. The oppportunties that you’re meant to have. The people you’re meant to meet. The dragons you’re meant to slay to become who you’re meant to be.

• Angry

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The truth behind The Law of Attraction was originally published in Hacker Noon on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.