Shit Product Managers DON’T Say

We’ve already covered the common sayings you hear from product managers. But what do you never hear a product manager say? Here are seven quotes a product manager will never utter.

1. I’d love for legal to sit in these meetings with us.

To a product manager, conversations with legal are like visits to the dentist. It’s good for you, but the fewer meetings the better.

2. I don’t have a spec, let’s implement whatever you think is best.

Product managers’ job is to have an opinion on the spec.

That said, one of the best advice I’ve received for product management is to know when to say: “I don’t have a strong opinion on this.” It empowers others to feel ownership over the project and lets the PM focus on the high priority decisions.

3. Just fix the lower priority bugs first.

If there’s one thing a PM should do, it’s prioritize bugs.

4. Yes! This is the perfect time for refactoring code.

Code refactors are kind of like deciding when to break up with your partner: It’s never the right time.

5. I don’t have any meetings today.

You don’t have meetings as a PM? Are you even a PM? Product managers are even frequently known to schedule meetings on “No Meeting Wednesdays.”

Aside: Sometimes, I wonder if “No Meeting Wednesdays” are only a thing because PMs exist.

6. I came to the meeting five minutes early since I had some free time.

You can know a PM is new to the job when they’re coming on time to meetings.

7. Let’s make that feature desktop-only.

Desktop is dead. Long live mobile!

If you found this article funny, please show your appreciation by clapping👏 below. Some more PM articles by me below:

• Shit Product Managers Say, Translated
• Shit Programmers Say, Translated
• The One PM Interview Question You Should Rehearse

If you’re interested in professional product management coaching, you can reach out at https://www.pmprep.xyz/.

Shit Product Managers DON’T Say was originally published in Hacker Noon on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.